The Sex & Dating Panel

On Sunday night close to fifty Vikings came out to All-school Campaigners to hear their YL leaders answer tough questions about sex & dating. During the previous week the high schoolers had written down any question they had about relationships. We took those questions and grouped them into the 10 categories listed below. 

If you would like to look over some of the notes from the night, you can download them here. 

1. Redefining Dating

•       When should I start dating?

•       Who should I date?

•       What should I be looking for in a boy/girlfriend?

•       How do you know you've found the right person

•       Why is finding "the one" so difficult?
Is ‘hooking up’ ok?

Let’s redefine dating by God’s standards, NOT according to the world’s standards.

Who should I date?

•       Someone who loves Jesus.

•       Someone who loves as Jesus loves.

•       Someone who displays fruits of the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22)

•       Someone who doesn’t need you.

2. Trust

• How can I trust the person I am dating when they’ve cheated on me before?
• How can I want to be married when I see the crappy marriage my parents have?  
• How can I trust my boyfriend when he is pressuring me?

There is only One person who will never break our trust and His name is Jesus. When physical and emotional commitments are made outside of marriage, a trust is going to be broken. God designed that intimacy and trust to exist within marriage alone.

3. Healthy/Unhealthy Relationship

• What is a good example of healthy relationship?
• Is it really Biblical for a man to pursue a woman?
• Why should a husband lead the wife?
• What does it mean to pursue someone?
• What is so great about marriage?
• How do you tell the person you are dating you want God in your relationship without making him feel like you are trying to change him?
• Does your parent's relationship affect your relationship with your girlfriend?
• What do I do if I am in an unhealthy relationship?

4. Love vs Lust

How do you know if you’re in love?

How can we do what God wants instead of what our bodies and hormones and our emotions want? 

If God wants us to wait, than why did He gives us such sexual urges at this young of age?

EROS: Feeling based, selfish, conditional.

AGAPE: Choice based, unselfish,  unconditional, lasting, from God

5. How Far Too Far

• When do you know it’s the right person to have sex with?
• Is Oral Sex considered sex?
• Can we go almost all the way, as long as we don’t, you know, ‘do it.’
• What’s the best way to set boundaries with your boy/girlfriend without the conversation getting awkward?
• How can I not be tempted to do sexual things with a girl when we hang out?

• If you’re asking that question, you’re probably going too far.
• If the sun don’t touch it, son don’t touch it.
• Don’t do anything you wouldn’t be comfortable doing if Mom, Dad and Jesus were in the room.
•  If you can’t talk about it, then you shouldn’t do it, and that doesn’t mean that just because you can talk about it that you should do it.
• Anything that Simulates or Stimulates…
• Kissing, Hugging, and holding hands…and they may be too far.
• Draw an arrow instead of a line, a direction, instead of a boundary. Are you moving towards regret  OR Intimacy (In-to-me-you-see).
• Purity paves the way to intimacy, but there is a cost to purity.

6. Porn

• How do I stop looking at porn? 
• Is masturbation ok?
• What is considered porn?

• Which dog are you feeding?  
• Take every thought captive…” -2 Corinthians 10:5
• 2 Timothy 2:22-Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace with those who call on God out of a pure heart.
• 2 Timothy 2:21-If anyone cleanses themselves from these things, they will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.
• Romans 12: 1-2.
• #WomanCrushWednesday and #ManCrushMonday
• 1 Timothy 5:2 Treat older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
• Recommended Reading: Every Young Man's Battle

7. Body Image

• Why do I feel like I have to impress guys with my appearance?
• How do I stop my eating disorder? I just want to be beautiful, but I’ll never be skinny enough.
• Satan keeps telling me that I’m inadequate for my boyfriend and that he deserves better.
• I’m so afraid of forever being alone 

•       Reminders

•       Psalms

•       Mentors

•       Feed on truth

8.Homosexuality

• Does God accept Gays?
• God loves GLBT and we should too.
• We must look to God’s Word for our information before we listen to society.
• Recommended reading: Love is an Orientation by Andrew Marin.

9. Single

• How do you know if you’re called to be single?

• We must trust God’s plan over our plan.
• We all have love to give away and sometimes it's a blessing to be single and able to love others outside of your spouse.

10. Regrets

• What if it’s already too late? Can I regain my purity?
• I’m so ashamed of the things I’ve done that I feel like I can never have an honest relationship with another guy/gal and even with my parents.
• Why did my mistake with him affect so many other relationships?
• Can God ever forgive an abortion?
• Can God still love me if I lost my virginity? I know it was wrong and I regret it all the time.

• While it may be too late to regain your innocence, it’s not too late to regain your purity.
• 2 Cor. 5:17 -If anyone is in Christ they are a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come. 
• 1 Jn 1:9- If we confess our sin he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.